The beauty 5

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This entry is part 4 of 6 in the series The beauty

Where it all began

Table of Contents

 

I looked at him again and the look I saw on his face was encouraging, well that’s how all their faces are, but still let me do this, tell him everything on my mind and see if truly there is a difference, if this one man can save his whole sex from my view of them, not that it mattered anyway,

“Hmmh”, I sighed and I walked towards the couch and took my seat, “come and listen to my sad tale, it is a very long one but I will make it as short as possible”, he sat by my side and held my hands, “I doubt you will enjoy it anyway but since you want to hear, I will tell you”,

“I don’t want to hear Tricky”, he squeezed my hands softly, “I want to listen”,

“Okay, but I think that a glass of fruit juice will be nice to accompany this story of mine”, at least that will help calm my nerves when the story gets to a point that I might want to break down, I just hope I don’t cry here, in front of him, he went and brought a tray which contained a pack of fruit juice and two glass cups. He poured into the glasses and handed one to me, which I took and drank a little before returning back on the tray, he sipped out of his cup and did the same,

“Okay, where do I begin?”, I was really nervous because I have never let anyone into my mind before, not that I am afraid of what they will think afterwards but because I feared that they might not understand,

“Anyway comfortable, okay what about talking about your childhood, would that be more better?”,

My childhood?

“My childhood, no problem, that is actually the beginning of everything”, I looked at him for a moment, contemplating whether or not I should tell him, screw it! I will tell him and see where this leads, “My parents weren’t very pleased with my birth because I came at a time when their love was still fresh and well they didn’t want any burden or distractions. So they treated me as cruel as possible, constantly reminding me that I was a mistake and a heavy burden for them to bear. When I turned six years old, my mother left me and my dad for greener pastures, she followed a rich man and we never saw her again, it didn’t take long for my dad to leave me too, I was eight when he decided that he had had enough of me and left. I had no where to go and no one to turn to, my neighbours were kind but they reached their limits too, so I took to the street to feed myself, I would sweeps stalls and make sales for different people and get paid a meagre fee, but since it kept food in my tummy I was content, for my home I took shelter under a pedestrian bridge because the landlord had thrown me out of the house since I couldn’t afford it”, I took a sip from my glass cup and looked at Moses who had been quiet all through the time I spoke, he held my hand and squeezed it lightly,

“I would cover myself with rags so I don’t get seen by anybody, the streets was crawling with different kinds of monsters, from rapist to robbers and what have you, so I had to be careful, but one day my rags didn’t do their job well and some group of teenage boys wanted to gang rape me, they were five in numbers. They had already torn my clothes and I was hit severally with punches and kicks, I was in pains! They almost had their way with me, but for a young police officer who came to my rescue”, I noticed that Moses held my hand tightly when I narrating this part of my story,

“Thank goodness”, he sighed,

“Yeah, thank goodness”, I laughed, “I was saved that night, he carried me to a nearby hospital where I spent the night receiving treatment. When the morning came he was by my side, asking me questions of last night and what an eight year old girl was still doing staying out as late as that, I told him everything, how I didn’t have any place to sleep, how I didn’t have any parent again”, I looked at Moses and I saw him crying, He was crying because of what I was saying, “are you okay?”,

“Yes I am, please don’t mind me and continue”, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands,

Thank goodness

“So the policeman took me to his house, he said that he was a widower and his late wife died of cancer, I asked about his children and he said he had none, he told me that he had oligospermia, which meant that his sperm count was low and was unable to impregnate his wife before she passed away. He was very kind to me for some months then he decided to adopt me as my legal father”, I paused for a few seconds to catch my breath,

“What is his name?”, Moses asked,

“His name is Mr Williams Goodman”, this was the first time in seven years that I have said his name, wow Moses be doing wonders, “He put me in school and all, did everything a father should, everyone who saw him spoke of how good and kind he was to have given me a good life, they were quick to say how good and gracious he was. All was well until two months after the adoption when I turned nine years old, he threw me a birthday party and gave me presents, but the highlight of the party happened later that night, I was in my room getting ready for bed and school since the next day was Monday, I was very happy and excited to share my presents with my friends in school when I heard a knock on the door, I opened up and saw him standing there, normally I wasn’t surprised since he usually read me stories or give me special instructions for the next day as he might need to leave early”, I stopped, I could feel the tears trying to make their way to my eyes, I have kept them hidden for a long time and I was good at it too,

“What happened?”, Moses asked softly, “if you don’t want to, you don’t have to”, I paused for some moments, I don’t have to I didn’t want to, that is true but still I continued, “I let him in and he closed the door behind him and kept the key in his pocket, I was confused at why he did that, but I didn’t think anything was wrong anyway, he closed the windows and pulled the curtains, which he usually do anytime he checks up on me, but never did he lock the door. He sat on my bed and beckoned me to sit by his side which I did, he told me how happy and grateful he was to be a father, how thankful he was to me for giving him that chance, he then looked at me and put his hands on my cheeks and I saw tears running down his eyes, I thought he was sick and dying and he was going to leave me, I was scared so I asked him and he laughed and said that he sees his late wife in my face and sometimes when I do laugh he hears her too, and then the next things he said was just too disturbing for me”, I finished my juice and Moses refilled it for me after which I continued,

“He said he had fallen in love with me, but not as a father would love his daughter but more than that, he said he loves me just as much as he had loved his late wife and just when my mind was processing all those words that he spoke, he grabbed me and pinned me to the bed, staying on top of me, I was scared and the scene of me and those teenage boys played before my eyes, I cried and protested but he was bigger than me and he easily over powered me, he tore my clothes and forced himself on me, showing my hymen no mercy he raped me and while he was at it he kept saying that he loves me, that he wants me, that he will protect me”, damn! As the image came before my eyes I cried, I cried so hard, Moses held me against his chest and he too was crying,

“To think that he was supposed to protect me, to think that he was supposed to be a father to me, to think that he was supposed to be a police officer”, I cried the more and shivered while Moses wrapped his hands around me, he seemed to have brought his tears under control,

“Just let it out, all the tears, all the hate, all the thoughts you have kept hidden inside of you, just let it out, I am here”, he said as he slowly and softly patted my back while my tears just kept rushing out, it felt as if my reservoir was filled and the door was released, I cried for so long that afterwards I felt relived, I felt alive, I felt better. Moses was right in the end I only had myself trapped and somehow after crying I felt I was making my way towards the door of my cage, as if I was making progress of getting myself out of the prison I had locked myself in,

“I am okay now, thanks”, I smiled and cleaned my eyes with his handkerchief, ” so where was I?”,

“If you don’t want to continue I will very much understand, that I will”, he said holding my hands, I think the reason why I could continue was because he kept holding my hand, and it wasn’t to scare me but to support me, to tell me that he was there and was ready to protect me and comfort me,

“I am fine thank you”, I drank out of my glass and continued, ” I couldn’t go to school the next morning because I was physically and emotionally in pains, I had made up my mind to escape but when I went to the sitting room I saw a letter in the table addressed to me from my supposed father, the letter was not one of apology or regrets but it was filled with threats and words that he was sure to act out should I leave the house, I tore the letter and left the house but since I didn’t have where to go I went back to the pedestrian bridge I once resided before, I sat there from the evening I got there till ten in the night and was about to sleep when I saw some people approaching me, I stood up very quickly and made a run for it, they ran after me of course and when I looked back I noticed they had guns on them, I was scared that I screamed, but there was no one to help me out, since I was still hurting from the experience of last night, I got tired and they caught up to me. They beat me up and knocked me out, when I came to I saw myself in a room, I was tied to a chair and an empty chair stood in front of me, someone came in and sat on it and when I saw the face of the person, I screamed. It was Mr Williams, he had a smile on his lips and he told me that no matter how loud I were to scream nobody was going to rescue me, I tried to loosen myself out of the chair but the rope was very tight and everything I tried to do only made it worse. He told me not to waste my time and proceeded to tell me the choices I had”, I finished my juice and sighed, “he said that either I remained in his house and do whatever he says and wants or I went to jail, I asked him how I will go to jail since I haven’t do anything wrong, I told him that he was the one who was to go to jail since he raped me, he laughed and shook his head, after which he said how he could frame me up for murder and the likes, I told him that I preferred to go to jail than stay with him, he rushed at me and held my neck so tight that I thought he wanted to kill me there and then, he later let go and said that he loved me and that he will protect me, provide for me and so on. He said that if I was to go to jail as I wanted that who will protect me should anything happen, he said all the bad and dangerous things that happens in jail that were likely going to happen to me, deep down I knew he was right, I had no where to go and no one to take me in, still jail seemed like the best choice for me, so he said that he will give me tonight to decide and with that he left. All through the night my mind went places, I regreted and cursed the day I met him, true he saved me from those teenage boys but he did what they wanted to do anyways, I hated the parents that brought me into this world, they really were very evil and wicked for just dumping me into this world, as if I forced my way into their lives, as if I came on my own consent and willed to disrupt their lives, I hated those teenage boys that decided to pull that their stunt, I hated my rags that couldn’t do their job properly and I hated myself for being weak and not able to defend myself. All this thoughts kept rolling and turning in my head and I cried all through the night, he came the following afternoon to listen to the decision I had made, he asked if I had eaten but all that were just superficial and fake show of concern”, a tear drop escaped from my left eye and trickled down my cheek, Moses reached out and wiped it off with his hand,

“You need a break?”, He offered,

“No, I am okay”, I smiled, I have started already might as well finish this, “I asked him what he would do if I decided to stay with him, to be forewarned is to be forearmed they say, of course he repeated how he will take care of me, how he will love me and the likes, so I told him I will only stay with him on certain conditions, well I had a lot of conditions in my mind but he said he will make provision for only two, which was to be paying me five million dollars for every year I will be staying with him as his daughter and that he will keep me in school too. He agreed to the conditions and for the next nine years that I stayed in his house he did all sort of things to me, which made me hate and despise him the more”, I sneaked a peek at the clock and it was terribly late,” I can’t go on again Moses it has gotten so late”,

He looked at the clock and nodded too, “sorry about that, let me walk you home”, we got to the front of my house and as I was entering I said, “why don’t we continue tomorrow, I will be the host this time”,

He smiled and said, “sure I will be very honoured, that I will be”, and we called it a night.

On my bed, I felt relaxed and better, never have I felt so happy and healthy before, “tomorrow is going to be great”, I smiled and got ready for bed.

 

 


To be continued……..

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